Vol. 23, #01 – 07/01/16


Firecracker of the Year

The office landline had a rare intermittent tone come the first Tuesday In June. What in the heck? Could it be there is opportunity waiting in the form of a voicemail? *99: “You have one new message and you better retrieve it!” (Even the machines tell us what to do.) BEEP…” Hola, you stumble bums, the siesta is over, you better get out from under your sombreros and dust off the publishing computer. This is the official self-appointed spokesperson for the Firecracker of the Year Committee. One of you jackasses needs to get on your donkey and ride over to the Minneapolis Farmers Market. Specifically we want you there at 6:45 am on June the 23rd. Marianna at Untiedt’s will have our report. She is not coming to find you deadbeats this year so we trust that you can follow through on one simple assignment.

At the appointed time and place we met up with aforementioned Queen of Strawberries and Ambassador of Good Will sent here each summer by Ukraine’s Minister of Peace and Understanding. Smiling brightly as is her wont, Marianna handed over the familiar Red Owl grocery bag offering the traditional “drobry den” greeting. It […]